Sunday, September 12, 2010

Don Draper, Frank Purdue and the Pope

After a solemn weekend in the US, I thought we could all use a smile.


Don Draper walked into the Vatican with Frank Purdue to try and sell the Pope on his latest Ad campaign.

"Mr. Pope ... Frank and I want to integrate chicken into the rituals of folks around the country, and we were thinking ... what better way than The Lord's Prayer."

The Pope looked at Don with bewilderment.  "I'm not sure I understand, Mr. Draper."

"Mr. Pope," Don continued, "we're willing to offer you .... fifty thousand dollars to change the Lord's Prayer to 'give us this day, our daily chicken.'"

The Pope's bewilderment quickly changed to agitation.  "Mister Draper ... I will not hear of such nonsense.  Absolutely not."

"Ok, ok," Don responded, "You got us.  I must have misread the contract and missed a zero.  We're really willing to offer you five hundred thousand dollars to change the Lord's Prayer to 'give us this day our daily chicken.'"

The Pope's agitation softened for just a second as he processed the new offer.  "Listen, guys, those words are sacred to our religion.  I just can't change them for five hundred grand.  Sorry.  Thank you for your time.  Good day."

"Wait, wait, wait," Don quipped, sensing a tiny crack in the armor, "I get it.  I get it.  Ok .. .how's this ... we'll offer you one million dollars to change the Lord's Prayer to 'give us this day our daily chicken'.  That's one...  million ... dollars!"

The next day, the Pope gathered his staff and announced, "Folks, I have some good news and some bad news.  The good news is that I think I found a way to raise all that money we need to feed the poor."

"And the bad news?" a staff member asked.

"I think we're going to lose the Wonder Bread account..."


Please join me in saying a real Our Father for all of the victims of terrorism, wars, and natural disasters around the world.

God Bless.


Mary N. said...

Good one!
I'll add my Our Father to yours. God bless you, Michael!

Victor S E Moubarak said...

Having said the Lord's Prayer as you requested I now respond as follows:

A stranger goes to the priest and asks if he would carry out a funeral for his dog who had just died. The priest is horrified. "We don't do funerals for dogs!" he reprimands the stanger sending him away packing.

"Oh I'm sorry Father ... didn't mean to ofend you," says the stranger, "I saw a church at the other end of the village ... do you think if I give their pastor $100 he'll do the funeral?"

"Hey wait a minute ... don't go away ..." interrupts the priest, "you never told me that the dog was Catholic!"

Anne said...

Thanks for the smile and the prayer! Now, here's one for you:

A priest was walking in the woods when he came upon a bear. He knew that prayer was his only hope to keep from being eaten alive so he began to pray the Lord's Prayer. He closed his eyes and slowly recited the words. When he got to "but deliver us from evil" he opened his eyes and there was the bear, hands folded, praying: "Bless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts..."

Barb Schoeneberger said...

Hi Michael, I came here from Mary333 and want you to know I liked the joke. We need some fun in our lives. Thanks for providing it.

Mary N. said...

I guess it's comedy central over here between you, Victor, and Anne! Funny!

I left you a blog award on Beautiful Gate, Michael.

Daily Grace said...

This was a great laugh! The responses were great too! Thanks Michael!

Michael said...

Thanks everyone.

Mary - thanks for the comment and the award. That is very nice of you.

Victor/Anne - thanks for the laughs. I was chuckling out loud reading them.

Barb - Thanks for stopping by, and you're welcome!

DG - Everyone is a comedian, I guess! Glad you liked them!